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Ive discovered a new pet peeve! [Mar. 31st, 2009|07:02 pm]
[mood |frustratedfrustrated]

Its when fuckers try to draw nny (johnny the homicidal maniac for those foreign to the character)as a goth boy stud. and has some dark romance with one of his side characters.

Hes just an evil fucking character. Insane on extreme levels. Broken in a more artistic way. But overall just kills people.

Fan art that depicts him as someone who wants to be loved are...aagh.

I simply cant stand it. It feels like they are missing the entire point of the character and read through like 1 comic.
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aww fuck. [Mar. 11th, 2009|10:39 am]
I think im falling for one of my really close friends. >_
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Ive really got to work on this. [Dec. 18th, 2008|06:17 am]
"Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy.125 "Man's dignity therefore requires him to act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end."
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movies [Dec. 12th, 2008|03:00 am]
[mood |sadsad]

ugh.. i can never watch the movie Unleashed without feeling emotionally bothered. Always reminds me of what i never had through out life when i was growing up.

I just wish i had it now.

Celeste seemed to be the mother i never had. It actually bothers me that i didnt know her sooner.

Janine was by far the most compatible, yet at the same time i never felt love for someone the way i did for rachel back in 2004-2005. Even if the circumstances did basically rip my heart out and set it on fire.

The rush i got from hanging out with my close friends.

I miss all of those feelings. I have not felt any extreme feeling as these in a good while. At the very least i need to visit lodi again soon to see celeste, twilight, and treasure. To visit someone who cares about me.
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-rolling of thee eyes- [Mar. 2nd, 2008|08:56 am]
[mood |satisfiedsadistic]

Hah so a female friend of mine and i were discussing different ideals and views of relationships and friends as people that graduate into the real world and lead the life of an adult.

I let her have her loving opinions about couples etc and to some extent i agreed.
Then however she tried to display that I needed a good close friend. Someone to confide in etc etc. In which case i disagreed because ive long since gone without a close friend and anything personal ive either written here (that stopped a while ago due to numerous amounts of bullshit from other people.) or i simply kept to myself and then forgot about. Anyhow she begins thinking that im lying about this or something along those lines because she keeps insisting.

I've gone a long time without someone and a so called "best friend". I feel fine. I will even go as far as saying that I do NOT need anyone on that level. Cold hearted as it may be Ive almost become accustom to cutting people out of my life without a second thought.

But I mean look at the history I've had. I do try to let it out and confide in someone and I either get little to no response or a sarcastic response that has nothing to do with the personal subject matter. People get akward and will more often then not avoid a direct response to the problem especially if they are involved.

As I was talking with my female companion during coffee she exclaimed that she had someone who fell in love with her. What was her course of action? Of course..she avoided him. Nothing had changed except he finally admitted to her how she felt. Instead of being truthful and letting things continue as is, she became paranoid about everything he did and was no longer comfortable around him.

Thats pretty fucked I responded. You have someone who looks at you as their view of happiness and at the same time the seeming cause of everything depressing and you AVOID that person? How god damn stupid are you? Talk to that person. See if they are alright. If you dont have feelings for them. Fine. But dont be a useless cunt/asshole about it and avoid them. Obviously I was a bit irritated with how she handled it and told her she needed to talk to him etc and try and reestablish her friendship with him. But apparently it was a few years ago and he left.

So after this little conversation I ask myself again.....why is it I need someone? When 90% of the people I come across simply feel the same as I.

We do not care.
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hah.... [Feb. 3rd, 2008|09:15 pm]
its kind of hard telling someone straight out that you hate them.
But im finding more and more courage to do so.

I hate being fake as im sure many here hate fakes themselves. So thus why i dont think i can hold it in.

I mean part of me cares about the person still.. but the other side.......
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departure [Jan. 14th, 2008|12:28 am]
[mood |boredbummed]

well my friend matt leaves today at about 8 am for his flight to south dakota. We had a family going away party earlier in the day and a private one for friends and drinking buddies alike later on.

I dunno though. Even though ya know someones gonna be leaving its so much different when it actually happens. I mean ive known the kid since he was 5. Now hes grown up. 20 yrs old and leaving. Its weird. Ive never had siblings but id say my relationship with him was the closest ive had to that nature.

Anyway just writing this to get it off my chest. Miss the guy already but hey.. life is full of change and i know his his is for the better at this point.
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fuck me... [Oct. 30th, 2007|08:17 pm]
i get older in 4 hours. christ. these days need to stop! D:
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(no subject) [Sep. 28th, 2007|04:54 pm]

My Personality
Openness To Experience
You are introverted, reserved, and quiet with a preference for solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends. You can be very easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be extremely sensitive and emotional. A desire for tradition does not prevent you from trying new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. People see you as tough, critical, and uncompromising and you have less concern with others' needs than with your own. You set clear goals and pursue them with determination. People regard you as reliable and hard-working.

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

Funky MySpace Layouts.

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Today is a dark day... [Jun. 28th, 2007|04:58 pm]
[mood |crushedcrushed]

It will be forever remembered as....

The day red vs blue ended.

100 episodes of pure hilarity.

And i enjoyed every last moment of it.
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